If You Were Gay
by alonelyheart
Summary: Draco has left his family, refusing to be a Death Eater, and has moved into Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Just his luck to get to be roomates with Harry. Although the two have come to get along, Fred and George have some tricks up their sleeves. Comedy


A/N: well... i just heard the song "If You Were Gay" with Rod and Nicky. And i laughed. And then i decided to make it a story with Harry and Draco. So, this is basically the song, and its pretty fun, so i just **HAD TO SHARE**! I dont own the song, or the characters and such from harry potter.

"This is such a boring summer Fred!" George burst out suddenly.

"Yea" Fred replied darkly. "Who would have thought cleaning out Dixies wouldn't be fun?"

"We need a prank, something to do!" George said, jumping off his bed restlessly.

"That's brilliant George, but there isn't many people to prank, seeing that we can't leave this mangly old house."

George laid back down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Things were so dull at Grimmauld Place, there was just nothing to do. And with Malfoy joining them, it was so intense, especially because he was roomates with Harry.

Fred stood up slowly and looked over at George slyly. "Harry and Draco!" he said excitedly.

"What are you going on about?" George asked, rolling over on his bed.

"You remember our 'Patented Singing Charms' and all of those deliuson spells?" Fred asked.

George nodded eagerly, but still confused at what Fred had in mind.

"What say we get Harry to sing a number for our newcomer..."

Draco sat down on a large comfortable couch that was in his room. Although it wasn't exactly his room because he shared it with Potter, he liked to make it seem that way. Draco smiled to himself, glad that Fred and George forced Harry to come and see them earlier that day.

"Aah," Draco sighed to himself. "An afternoon alone with my favourite book: 'Broadway Musicals of the 1940's.' No roomate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

Just as he was about to open his book, his door opened rather loudly and Harry, Fred and George sprawled into his room. Harry had a huge grin on his face with wide eyes.

"Oh, hi Draco!" he said cheerfully.

"Hi Harry." Draco grumbled, completely ignoring the twins.

"Hey Draco, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning" Harry said as he sat down next to Draco.

Draco was about to ask what a subway was, and what in the world Harry was doing on one, but Harry cut him off and continued. "This guy was smiling at me, and talking to me..."

"That's very interesting," Draco said, not very interested at all.

"He was being real friendly," Harry continued as though he hadn't heard Draco's remark. "And I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!"

Harry laughed silently to himself and looked straight at Draco.

"So," Draco cleared his throat, "uh, w-why are you telling me this? Hmm? Why should I care?"

Draco looked at Fred and George as they started to make their way to the door. "I don't care," he said hastily.

Fred and George snickered and left the room and Draco quickly tried to change the subject.

"What did you have for lunch today?"

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Draco..."

"I'm NOT getting defensive," Draco spat. Harry looked rather taken aback. "What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read."

"Well, I didn't mean anything by it Draco. I-I just think it's something we should talk about."

"I don't want to talk about it, Harry!" Draco sneered. "This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but - "

"OVER!"

"Well okay," Harry sighed, "but just so you know - "

Draco watched stunned as Harry jumped up and looked at him with a large broad-way smile.

"If you were gay," he started to sing. "That'd be okay. I mean 'cause hey, I'd like you anyway."

"Urg," Draco groaned as he moved to another chair.

"Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free, to say that I was gay!" Harry grinned at Draco, and quickly added, "but I'm not gay."

"Harry, please!" Draco growled. "I am trying to read..."

Draco looked up to see Harry still watching him with his goofy smile. "What!"

"If you were queer - " Harry started again loudly.

" - ah, Harry! - "

" - I'd still be here, - "

" - Harry, I'm trying to read this book! - "

" - year after year! - "

" - HARRY! - "

" - because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!" Draco exclaimed as he pushed Harry aside.

"And I know that you, - " Harry continued in a giddy manner.

"What?"

" - would accept me too - "

"I would?" Draco questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

"If I told you today: 'hey guess what? I'm gay!' But I'm not gay."

Draco stared at Harry for a moment, then moved away towards his bed.

"I'm happy," Harry sang, "just being with you!"

"High Button Shoes, Pal Joey..." Draco muttered to himself, trying to read his fashion book.

"So what would it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" Harry sang even louder.

"Harry!" Draco exclaimed in shock. "That's GROSS!"

"No it's not!" Harry said, shaking his head hard. "If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!"

Harry punched the air with his fist as Draco moved again.

"I am not listening!" Draco shouted, covering his ears.

"And here I'd stay - !"

"La la la la la!"

"But I wouldnt get in your way!"

"Aaaah!" Draco screamed at the thought.

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say, it's in your DNA" - Draco could have sworn he heard someone on the other side of the door mutter 'Lucius', when Harry said loudly - "YOU'RE GAY!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Draco howled, completely appalled by Harry's behaviour.

"If you were gay." Harry said thoughtfully.

The door sprung open, and Fred and George were paralyzed with laughter. Fred was doubled up, leaning on the door frame for support. George was on all fours, banging the ground with his fist. Draco stood frozen in the spot, as Harry hurried over to him, apologizing over and over that Fred and George had cast a spell over him, and that he didn't mean to say what he did. Although what Harry was saying sounded sincere, he seemed to be fighting back from laughing himself.

Draco scowled, and they looked at each other and stared to laugh; for a long time, they couldn't stop. Although they were both embarrassed beyond belief, Fred and George's prank seemed to always give the two something to laugh about.

A/N: ah, good song. I dont know about the ending, but it wasnt too bad. If you like the story itself, listen to the song, its brilliant! Well, hope you enjoyed it!


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